Reyes Gibbs Blog

How do you choose a church?

A colleague of mine sent me this article about a talk show host on Fox news who says a lot of things I don't agree with.   He says that churches that share the message of social justice are really communists or nazis in disguise.   He believes that "social justice" is a code word for communism!

As a pastor who serves an inclusive, open, creative and opinionated faith community, I wonder what do folks say about the faith community of Bethel?   Don't go there because 1) The pastor is Filipina-American. 2) The pastor is a woman. 3) The pastor is not over 5'. 4) The church only uses the screen and no bullletins. 5) The church is too small.  6) The building needs a make over or 7)The church makes you think!  All of the above have been reasons people have told me that Bethel isn't the right fit!  Okay maybe the "over 5'" is a exaggeration. 

When people ask me about other churches, I say, "I have never worshiped there, you will have to go visit to find out."  If I know of a church's particular theological lean, then  I say, "I understand that this church is against the ordination of women but don't let that stop you from visiting the church to find out for yourself." 

What this article does is encourage people who already have a church home to stop going. I am blessed to serve a faith community that thinks and acts  and have individual thoughts and  believe that God through Christ works in their lives helping them discern and to serve.  

This article really has no impact on those persons who are attending church who preaches the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  I just get perturbed people like this talk show host say really stupid things, especially when they brand themselves righteous!    If folks take this media person's point of view then Jesus was rightfully crucified because he was SOCIAL JUSTICE! 

I just wonder sometimes why God makes me pray for the other! 

The Invisible Wall

I was rushing around trying to get chores and work done the other day.  As I was driving around town, the little gas pump light came on  saw that my gas tank was on "E"!   I didn't want to but I had no choice I had to stop.   I drove to the nearest gas station and all the pumps were occupied except for one.   The one gas pump that was available required me to maneuver around other cars!   I saddled up next to the one free gas pump.  I did the usual things, undo the gas cap, acknowledged my neighboring gas tank fillers, and proceeded to pump gas into my car. 

Then I sat in my car waiting for my tank to fill.  When I looked up, I  realized that all the cars were gone.  I was in the station by myself!   And suddenly, I saw a man in the island next to me.   He had a couple of trash bags filled with cans (I could hear them when he moved). He proceeded to clean himself by using the hand sanitizer next to the window washing water.   I didn't want to stare so I looked straight ahead but watched from the corner of eye!   He washed his hair, his arms, and face.   He straightened up his shirt and then walked off.

It was if were were in two different rooms with an invisible wall between us.   Neither of us acknowledged our existence.   I felt like I was watching someone taking a shower.  Wierd!!  Then as he walked away, I realized that he was just as unsure of me as I was of him and wondered was he watching me?

The problem with invisible walls Is that you can see through them-see things that make you uncomfortable in this case and it provides the barrier that many of us need or want when being with people we don't want to be with.  I know that I should have acknowledged him with a simple hello, but that wall stopped me!  So what invisible walls do you build? 

Why have a blog if one does not blog?

I have not  blogged in this space for months!   Maybe its because I have a short attention span and can't stay focused on a project very long!  or maybe its because I have started using Facebook and Twitter many times a day and figure that in 140 characters I can say it all. 

However, I have so much to say!! Just ask my children or the faith community I serve!   So today I am going to try to discipline myself to share with you the "aha's" and joys more regularly.

Stay tuned, again!

60 years & a DMin - Thank You God!

Thank you's just doesn't seem like enough to all the friends and family who helped to make today's celebration so wonderful. Words cannot express my love and appreciation for all the love, care and support I have received as student, pastor, mom, wife, sister, auntie, and friend.  For all my children who worked so hard in the week to get ready! For my babies, Maribel, Ava, Simona, Elyse, Miya, Remi, Abigail, Evelyn, Annie - Yes, all girls!!!  My nieces and nephew, Sami & Tristan who did so much work!!  For Merissa's song that she wrote for me and performed with my sons Kevin and Beadle!  It brought tears to my heart and soul!   Also thankful for Grace Kaori and her leadership today and dark chocolate m&ms!  For the prayers and words from my brothers, Pablo, Frank and Virstan! For Auntie Margie, Deanne, Lauren & Ron who cooked! The faith communities of Primera, MBCC & Bethel!  The Parsons McClain Family!  The Bethel musicians and choir!!  Johnny on the soundboard!  The diamond ring from Bethel!  All the people who did clean up! My wonderful and supportive husband, Joel!! Thank you God, for my abundant blessings!

How old are you? 60 - don't have enough fingers to show!

But I have enough, aches & pains, wrinkles, gray hairs (although often stained), and experiences that add up to 60!!!

I am excited about the future in a whole different way than before.  I want to have a world that my granddaughters can live that has clean air, enough water, and compassionate neighbors.   I wish for them a happy life and hope they make good choices.   The difference between before 60 and after, I used to worry.   I had "anticipation worry" the "what if?" sydrome.   I don't worry as much.  My children have formed wonderful lives and I know that they will all do well.   I can't worry about things I can't change.  I do more than worry about the condition of the world and stop myself and say, "so what are you doing?"  Then I go take a nap, read a book and pray like hell!

My son when he turned 40 listed 40 things that he was grateful for.   I don't think I could make it through half my list without having to refer to the top 30 so I won't repeat myself.   Take my word for it, I am blessed with abundance in love and care from family, friends and the faith community I serve.  Can't ask for much more.

Thank you to all who have sent birthday wishes and continue to support and love me!!

Salamat!

When your mom wears red finger nail polish...

Tomorrow is my 60th birthday and I have been thing a lot about my mother, Marie Averas Reyes Acoba who died some ten years ago.   She was a "crazy, eclectic, stubborn, and did I say stubborn" woman who loved me unconditionally. (at least she forgave me for my many "errors in judgment)  She was a Godsend for me in raising my four children and I wish she could have been present for all my grandchildren.  

I grew up saying I'd never be like my mother and as each day goes by I become more like her.   She always wore bright red nail polish and rarely cut her fingernails.  By the time she died, she had what Kevin referred to as "red claws."  From my perspective, she dressed like a clown mixing up colors like purple and red (who would have thought that these two colors years later would be okay to wear together?) 
When I say my mom was crazy, she drove us crazy!!!   She never went to the doctor, didn't tell us important items about her life that we thought important (like when she remarried), had fits of anger that made her throw her shoes or carry a gun in her purse (we without her knowing disabled the gun and took it out of her reach), lots of stories that would make sense only over a glass of wine.   All in all though she was loved and she loved her kids even when she was angry at them.  We all knew that when we crossed "the line"  it would take a lot of kissing up and "I'm sorry" plus the, "I should have known better."

My mom helped me especially through my divorces and reminded me over and over again about putting the children first.  She made me laugh and cry and cringe.  She was a strong, independent woman.   She had a wierd sense of timing (visiting me at 6:30AM with a "Let's go to Reno!" and we usually did).  All in all I miss her.

So on my 60th birthday, I give thanks for my mother and her constant love and her outlook on life and her red fingernail polish which by the way is my favorite now so I guess  I am on my way to becoming more like my mom (sans gun and I have stopped wearing purple and green together so the kids would stop calling me Iris), pray for my children!

I am very proud of my children!

I really have never liked mother's day since becoming a mother.   I believe Mother's Day is everyday for everyone who nurtures and affirms the life of a child (yes, I mean men too!)   I know too many people who have wanted desperately to have children, suffered miscarriages, spent thousands of dollars for in-vitro or adoption.   These women deserve a very special day!!!   While other women, get pregnant when they smell a man nearby (not a sex-ed piece, of course).   And some of these women, should have gotten a license to have a child before giving birth (but that's another story).

I am a blessed woman who gave birth to four beautiful wonderful children and in turn three of them married wonderful human beings and the fourth one is still single and I am praying that he stays that way for a few more years!!!

Each of my children say that I love one of them more than the other!  How they get this idea is that I pay more attention to the child in front of me and that's it!!  It's their issue.    This Mother's Day I was blessed to be with all my children and grandchildren (And i forgot to take a family picture). 

On this day, I baptized my youngest granddaughter!   It was a wonderfully teary, joyful day for the family.
The next day I just basked in the love surrounding that sacrament.   I remembered the text where God said, "You are my beloved, I am well pleased."

Each of my children, their spouses, and my granddaughters are my beloved and I am so well pleased -  they are my "heart".   Each of them have their own issues, weaknesses and anxieties but they are all wonderfully compassionate with a great sense of humor.     They are all successful in my eyes and heart and I am so proud of them.

All of my children are blessed with creativity!! From diving with sharks to welding--From the artist to the EMT, from finding new recipes to finding good restaurants, from 2.0 web stuff (I know I am not techie!) and radio programs, from event planning to vacation planning, from fitting in all the kids stuff in your schedule while you work to still finding "me" time, from studying to crafting and much more!  My granddaughters may eclipse the adults. They too are talented, creative, intelligent, strong, courageous, and of course beautiful!  I can't wait to see what the future holds for them. 

I am very proud of all their accomplishments including: college degrees, one is getting her EdD and another is getting a law degree.  A couple of them are teachers, another is a public relations expert, one was elected to a high office of the church and the list is goes on. Bottom line:  I am a proud momma and lola!   But my most proudest moment is when I awe and wonder when I think that these 7 adults and 5 grandchildren love each other unconditionally and laugh at each other and they cry together.  I know that the world is a better place because of them!

And I know that God abides in them and calls the "beloved."

How to invite...

I am celebrating my 60th birthday this year and also graduating with my Doctor in Ministry in Parish Revitalization from McCormick Theological Seminary.   I am officially 60 on May 22 and officially a Rev.Dr. on May 14.

but OFFICIALLY I am celebrating both on June 27, 2009@11AM@Bethel.   It's going to be a great event.  A short graduation service of "one."  A representative from McCormick is coming to give me my  diploma in front of my family, the church I serve and friends - all who have been very supportive of my educational journey.   The delimma I have -  should I mail out invitations  (snailmail), evite, email, facebook, or  climb to the highest rooftop and yell, "You are Invited!"

My first inclination was to mail out invitations so I started this morning addressing invitations to people who are far away.  Then, my mind wandered and I checked out evite, and realized that I could evite those folks too, then, my mind took another walk, to "Why don't I just email people?"  then I thought, what about facebook?  As you can seen I am on confused person.

So if you are reading this and know me, come on June 27, 2009@11AM for a great party.  We are having a hotdog (polish dogs, hot links, and other varieties) buffet with all the fixings and mac&cheese!  The jazz band "herd of cats" is performing and we are having a jumping house for the kids.   It will be loads of fun!!
Just RSVP to me on this post to make sure I have enough of food and drink!!!

And BTW, if you happen to get a couple of invitations about this event over the next few weeks!!! JUST COME!!!!

The art of multi-tasking

I have found a new place to work.  Ricky's Bar and Grill in San Leandro.  Yes, a bar and grill with free WI-FI and over 100 TV sets in the place.  It has good food and the owners, Ricky and Tina are great hosts.
It's perfect for an A's Game  on a big screen and a table right in front with free wi-fi with a hamburger!! Couldn't get any better for a sports fan! 

My going to this place has also challenged the age old MYTH that men can't multi-taks.  Through my observations of people who go to Ricky's to watch sporting events I have found that men truly do know how to multi-task.    Case in point - they can watch seven screens at a time and know the play by play of each sporting event taking place - they can watch a wrestling match, football, soccer and baseball (multiple games) all at the same time!!!  and still manage to carry on conversations.  Admittedly though the conversations do sound more like grunting with very few multi syllable words but they are multi-tasking!

Some of my best friends are gay!!

Sounds really stupid, but that's the kind of feeling I got from the recent presbytery meeting from the folks I disagree with.   It's the usual response from folks I accuse of being an "ist" , how can I be a racist?  Some of my best friends are minorities! (a term used for the majority of the people in the world!) I can't be  a sexist! Some of my best friends are women.    I can't be homophobic because.... you get the message.   Many of my colleagues have written very good posts of the recent meeting held on April 21 where  this community of faith  called San Francisco Presbytery voted down an amendment that would give each church the right to discern who their ordained leaders of the church will be.   Read posts of my colleagues the Rev. InHo Kim and the Rev. Monte McClain who say it better than I can.

Before going to the Presbytery meeting, I had a feeling of dread that this church will continue excluding people called by God to serve the church.   PCUSA's constitution was changed 75 years ago so that women could be ordained as deacons and elders and 50+ years ago the first woman was ordained as a Minister of Word and Sacrament.   But just because they made those changes doesn't mean that every church "HAS" to hire a woman.  In fact there are many churches who WILL NOT hire a woman as their pastor, just because...  During the Civil Rights movement, the church also started supporting the calling pastors of color, again, doesn't mean that the church HAS to hire a person of color.   I am a woman of color over the age of 50 and glad that the faith community I serve discerned that my gifts, talents, and love for Jesus the Christ matched their gifts, talents and love for Christ.  

Calling a pastor is a matter of discernment between the church and God.  Every church has the right to call whomever they discern God has chosen for them.   EXCEPT if the person is of a different sexual orientation-meaning same gender loving people.  

I support the ordination of all people called by God, who have met all the requirements of the church, has common sense (I know a misnomer), has passion for Jesus and has discerned with the church that "this is the place God calls me to."   And even when the church ordains the "right" people, they screw up, there are more sexual harassment cases in our presbyteries by our "normal" folks that would make one wonder how they got called.   That's right we are only human!!!

Many of my friends have switched to the open and inclusive  UCC church and have asked why don't you just leave and become one of us.   I love the Presbyterian Church USA.  I was baptized by this church and my memories and deep gut love for the church comes from my relationship with my home church Trinity, Stockton.   I am going to hang in there with the PCUSA and do my best to bring about an inclusive church until they ask me to leave or kick me out!!!

Here is the letter from Pam Byers, Executive Director of the Covenant Network that shares her reflections of what happened that night:

Dear friends,

I hardly know how to report to those of you who weren't at the presbytery meeting tonight the very sad news that for the first time since 1994, our presbytery voted against a more inclusive vision of the church.  The vote tonight on Amendment 08-B was 167 Yes - 177 No, with 4 abstentions.

I am glad, at the same time, to share the good news that the three other presbyteries voting today all voted Yes, including two who voted No the last time around.  (We have the very unhappy distinction of being the first to switch in the wrong direction.)

While I expected the vote in San Francisco to be very close, I am still stunned, heart-sick, and hard put  to explain our result.  We know of (too many!) friends who were out of town or sick, though I also saw several who I know made sacrifices to be there (thank you!)  I certainly did see numbers of ministers there tonight who I strongly suspect were No voters, and whom I have never seen at presbytery before.  The location at Walnut Creek (otherwise admirable hosts) certainly didn't help - though I still hoped we could pull it off.

 

I do think we were very well served by our three excellent speakers for 08-B - Max Lynn, pastor of St John's, Berkeley; elder Ricky Choi of Mission Bay Community church; and Keenan Kelsey, pastor of Noe Valley Ministry here in the City.  (Warm thanks to all three, who I know invested many hours in being articulate, persuasive, and brief!)

The evening portion of the meeting, which included our consideration and vote on 08-B, was surrounded by a really lovely worship service planned and led by pastor Judy Durff from Lafayette-Orinda and our presbytery moderator, elder Chuck Fry, with a gorgeous choral group from LOPC.  We concluded with the Lord's Supper, after the vote was announced. We ended the service and the meeting in a huge circle around the sanctuary.  Looking around that circle, I recognized so many colleagues, from different contexts - and by the grace of God was able to remember that Christ died and rose for all of us.

 

We beguiled the time while the votes were being counted with hymns.  Immediately before the results were announced we sang "Great Is Thy Faithfulness," which includes the promise of "strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow."  That is what I lean on right now.  

Please continue in prayer for our whole church, and especially for the six "swing" (meaning unpredictable) presbyteries that will vote in the next week:  Boise, de Cristo, Detroit, Lehigh, Northern Plains, and Sierra Blanca.  If you have friends in any of them, please do call them with a word of encouragement and exhortation.  And hold them and our whole church in prayer!

We had many friends there tonight very personally and directly affected by our vote; and I drove the most visible one, Lisa Larges, home.  I deeply grieve for their hurt and loss.  I grieve even more for the cost to our congregations of not being able officially to welcome their ministry.  I grieve most of all for the hugely un-evangelical message our vote may send to people who need to hear a saving invitation from Christ.

 

We have a lot of work still to do in the church and in our own presbytery.  I am grateful indeed to share it with all of you.  And I'm more grateful still to be confident that the Risen Christ will continue to lead us forward.  As my dear colleague Tricia often says, The Gospel is inevitable.  Thanks be to God!

 

Faithfully (though sadly) yours,

Pam

Elder, Old First Presbyterian Church, San Francisco, and

Executive Director, Covenant Network of Presbyterians

2515 Fillmore Street • San Francisco, CA 94115
415 351 2196 (phone) • 415 351 2198 (fax)
www.covenantnetwork.org